A new addition to the "Beeping Bastards" a.k.a. "The Beeping Bitch"

I'm sure I've mentioned previously that I live in - what i call - the smallest of small towns, Nanty Glo, PA. I also happen to have residence across from a garage style building which houses the town's snow plows. YAY me, you're probably thinking. She probably gets her road plowed perfectly, you're thinking.

YOU ARE WRONG.

My roads are caked with sludge and ice. It absolutely sucks. But, that is not the point of this blog. The point is the snow plows. They've been annoying me and Mom since we moved here last summer. In fact, we've nicknamed them "The Beeping Bastards" because when they park at night they pull directly into the garage... which means when they leave the next morning (some time around 5am or before depending on the weather) we hear "beep beep beep beep beep beep"

It's like having our own alarm... one that we cannot turn off. It doesn't stop and they never shut up. Throughout the day as they come back for salt and take lunch breaks or whatever, we hear "beep beep beep beep beep!" And since our walls are paper-thin it's like the trucks are right in the apartment with us. Like I said, it sucks.

That sound has become so hated in our household, that whenever we hear it we visibly cringe.

So, when we went to Walmart last week, we had a problem...

Wait, let me back track a few days, because I'm sure you're confused at how the beeping bastards are connected to Walmart.





Well... My mom fell down our stairs a few Mondays ago. We have a lot of steps and I bet she fell down at least 8 of them. She pulled a muscle in her arm from trying to catch herself and fell directly on her bad leg. See, my mom had a bunch of accidents when she was younger; all involving vehicles of some kind (motocycles and cars). SO, her leg was already messed up to begin with. After the fall, she couldn't even walk without using her crutches.

She called off work, but we still had to head to Walmart to get food and Advil.

And when we got there I suggested she use one of those motor carts... the ones that old people ride around in :D

It took some prodding, because my mom hates the idea of having to use those things, but she eventually agreed.

Everything was going fine too, until we got to the frozen food section and Mom needed to find her Egg-O's. She went too far down the aisle and had to back up... and that's when we heard it.

"Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep!"

Everytime Mom backed up, the motor cart screamed the same noise that had become a living nightmare to both of us.

I made a video of it on my phone, but i can't get it to load properly right now. I'll keep trying so I can post it here. But until then, enjoy the picture of my mom, The Beep Bitch *grin*

Until Next Time,
Stasia Porter

PS And I'd like to add that my mom is in perfect health now (or as perfect as a person can get). Her leg is healed, she's not longer using crutches/motor carts and is back at work.

A Mixed Up Reality

Before we begin I feel the need to give you some background information. According to my family (I have no memory of this event) at the age of seven I came out of my bedroom close to the witching hour one night (aka midnight). Even as a child I suffered from chronic insomnia so, that being said, no one was really surprised. However, after calling out my name, asking repeatedly if I was alright, and getting up to infestigate my grandma and mom found that this was not one of my ordinary sleepless nights. Actually, it was the opposite, because I was very much asleep.

After walking to the fridge, grabbing myself a Capri Sun, and reclosing the fridge door, I supposedly went right back to bed. My eyes were glazed over, my movements were calculated, and my family was ignored.

That's right folks, I, Stasia Porter, was sleep walking.

My grandma often tells me that sleep walking is not rare in our family. Though neither she nor my mom sleep walk (though my mom can sometimes sleep-talk) that issue plagues my grandfather and various others on his side of the family. And, apparently, it also plagues me. Now, this does not happen often... though I am known to sleep-talk just like Mom. It barely happens at all. However, yesterday happened to be one of the days it did... and yes you read right: I said days.

Stasia's Reality

Living is exhausting. It's not just living, however, it's going to school that drains most, if not all, of my energy. So, after a wonderful dinner (TACOS!!!) I hit the sack. Dressed in soccer shorts and two-sizes-too-big Aladdin shirt from last years school play, I climbed into bed, shielded my eyes from the light streaming in through the window, and circumed to the peace sleep provided.

Before falling asleep I heard Mom tell me she was going to the laundry mat.

I nodded, said something so she'd know I heard her, and then went to sleep.

Upon waking, I shoved the blankets off my eyes. Instantly I saw that the dark sky was turning light. OMG! With my mind focused on one particular thing, I took off speed walking down the hall and into the living room where I'd left my cell phone the night before. In the back of my mind I heard Mom say something to me, but I couldn't be bothered with it. Actually, most of my mind didn't even register that she was awake and standing in the kitchen.

Grabbing my phone, I saw that it was after 6.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I turned around and went into the kitchen. Mom is standing there looking at me. She says, "Stace,"

"Lets go." I tell her.

She then looks at me as if I have two heads. "Where?"

"I need to go to school." I say; like it's obvious.

"Why?

Standing in the doorway of the kitchen, I stare at my mom as if she had three heads. Slowly, so she'd understand, I said, "I. have. to. go. to. school."

Then it was her turn to stare at me. Frowning, she says, "Stace, it's still Monday."

Then, as I blink, the world focuses and I have to look around to see where I am. The memory of the last few minutes are fuzzy... and I realize that it's because I had still been trapped in my dream.

"Oh," I say.

Mom's Reality

Getting home from the laundry mat and grocery store, I walk into the kitchen with the bags and basket of clean clothes. I'd barely put the stuff down when I heard Stasia walk out of her bedroom.

Smiling, I called out, "I got you turkey for your lunch."

No answer.

"Did ya hear me?" I swore I just saw her walk past the kitchen into the living room. Frowning, I called out again, "Stace?"

"Stace?"

Then she comes back out. Looking dazed, she looks at me like I was a stranger. "Lets go?"

Huh? "Where?"

"I have to go to school."

Frowning even more, and more confused than I had been in a while, I asked, "Why?" Did she forget something? It was 6pm, I doubted anyone would be there to let us in.

"I. Have. To. Go. To. School."

Then, looking at her dully, I said, "It's still Monday."

As those words penetrated into my daughter's mind, I watched as her eyes focused. She looked around confused.

Laughing, I said, "You were sleep walking."

The Truth??? Well, that should be obvious. 1) my dreams are very mundane and often rotate around school and 2) Don't nap after eating tacos for dinner... it obviously messes with sleep.

HAHAHAHA!

Until next time,
Stasia